Expect the Unexpected

On Tuesday, I had a clinic appointment with my main and favorite Hepatolgist, Dr. Bzowej.  I brought my list of items to discuss and the first and most important one was that I needed a release note for me to go back to work. The goal since I was released from the hospital on January 18th was to return to work on July 5th. Since my liver counts have been perfect and my white blood count has been improving I had no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be getting the note. Well, I was stupid silly and forgot that simple rule that I learned watching Big Brother.... expect the unexpected.

SHE SAID "NO!!" She didn't even pause or think about it when I asked. She explained that my white and red blood cells are not stable enough to go back to work. I do not have enough white blood cells to fight an infection and my red blood cells are low and not filled with enough oxygen. Basically, my bone marrow is messed up. Messed up from what you may ask?  The medicines keeping my liver counts perfect and the one that fights the dreaded CMV virus screwed up my bone marrow. She took me off the medicine used to fight CMV called Valycte and she thinks that will help. I am sure my insurance is celebrating that change since each bottle of 60 pills cost over $4600.

So the new goal is September 1st and she did give me hope that it is possible to return sooner. It all depends on my bone marrow. After consulting Dr. Google, I found that massages help bone marrow recover so my masseuse will love the extra business I will be giving her. Sadly, retail therapy was not listed.

The last couple of days I have been upset. I can accept the transplant, multiple hospital admissions, daily drugs and no alcohol but I was seriously having a hard time accepting not being able to go back to work. Luckily, the Rolo McFlurries are making me feel better. You should really have one if you haven't already!

PS.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Brother!!!

Happy Anniversary to Joe Deegan

Happy Anniversary to the most amazing husband.  I am lucky to have you in my life and no words can express the bond that we have. You truly are my rock and I couldn't have survived what I went through without your love and support. These six years have flown by and I can't wait for the rest of our lives together.

 "Our wedding was years ago.  The celebration continues to this day."- Source Unknown  

Still got the luck!!

Today is a big day for me both physically and emotionally as today marks five months since I had the transplant. It has been five months since I almost died and  five months since my donor and medical team saved my life.

Prior to my transplant, I felt I was a very lucky person. I had the husband of my dreams, the cutest dog ever, a house, a great job, fabulous friends and a family that loved me.  Last week I got the call that my Neutrophil counts were critically low and I needed to be in isolation. Truthfully, I was a mess after that call. I felt my luck had ran out and I would never be normal again. Today has brought a new sense of luck. Look at my list of how I defined I was lucky. I STILL HAVE EVERYTHING I LISTED!

Definition of LUCK:

a : a force that brings good fortune or adversity b : the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual

In looking up the definition above, luck is not what you have in life, it is how you deal with what you are given. I could think of myself of being unlucky that I needed a transplant or I can look at it that I was damn lucky to get the transplant. I was damn lucky to get the transplant and have great insurance. Some people die waiting for a liver and others pay thousands of dollars in medical bills. My transplant has brought adversity into my life but it has also done much more. Mainly it has confirmed I still got the luck!

“Luck is believing you're lucky.”- Tennessee Williams

One last thing, I have a favor to ask.....
Please send good thoughts and prayers to my donor's family today. While I am celebrating an extra five months being alive, they are remembering that it has been five months since they lost their loved one. Thank you donor and family for giving me the gift and luck of life.